Escape

Day and night, I struggle

Stuck in one of the hardest battles of all.

One day I’m helpless

In a never ending labyrinth,

Looking for something I can’t even comprehend.

Trying to make sense of where to go;

But still not knowing what to look for.

Running like there is no end.

The next day I’m trapped

In a small cage with tiny holes,

Getting away from a ghost I don’t even recognise.

Trying to make sense of where to hide;

But still not knowing what I’m hiding from.

Seeing things with my own, two eyes.

Claustrophobia creeps into my veins as 

I look for that giant exit sign.

Tell me how does one escape 

When one gets lost in their own mind?

      
-fin-

(featured image courtesy: pinterest)

Never the Same (World Suicide Prevention Day)

Your parents would pass by your room, and everything would come back in a snap. How they found your lifeless body, ran to you and shook you non-stop just to find out they were minutes late. Your siblings didn’t just lose their wrestling opponent, but one of their idols. That one person they always look up to. Your best friend would sit in tears upon the announcement in school. Even that seatmate who used to kick your chair just to annoy you? He’d be devastated. He’d blame himself. Your teachers? They’d think it’s their fault for not being enough to make the school comfortable for you. You think no one cares? Your family does, your friends do, the people around you, too. Someone right now is thinking of you. Because I do. I may not exactly know how you feel but I know how to feel so f*cked up to the point that I thought ending my life is the only answer. But then I remember, this world is also f*cked up, anyway. Even steven. So let’s all be f*cked up’s in this f*cked up world and LIVE. Might as well witness it. After all, real life is tragic but it’s perfectly worth it. That’s the most optimistic speech you can get from someone pessimistic like me. But please, if you reach this point in my long arse plea, please continue on living your life. You’re never alone because someone will always care. Please don’t die. Trust me when I say, without you the world might not stop rotating and revolving but I know it won’t ever be the same.

Depression

‘i’m fine’

truth is that it’s

all in my mind.

    

but this internal battle

with myself is

killing me inside.

   

‘save me’

from the depths

of my toxic thoughts;

    

because now

i know this is what

dying feels like.

     

-fin-

     

(featured image courtesy: me. check out the photo from two different angles)

    

28/01/2016

Nightmare

I woke up gasping, crying, shaking,
My heart pounding as my body’s trembling.
Relief–I felt for the time-being,
‘Cause I saw your face when I woke, darling.      

‘I’m here, worry not,’ you were speaking.

I nod and hug you, totally believing.

You kissed my forehead as we continued snuggling.

‘I’ll always be by your side,’ — the inkling.

     

But as the days go by, the tables start turning,

Gone was the loving, sweet and caring.

The dream come true that was you started changing;

I saw you–my nightmare that was becoming.

        

I woke up gasping, crying, shaking,

My heart pounding as my body’s trembling.

Fear–I felt for the time-being,

‘Cause I saw your face in my dream, darling.

      

(photo courtesy: reviewbie.com)