Note: This post was originally posted on 29 November 2013 and has been revised on 8 June 2014.
THE BEST AND worst thing that has ever happened to me is not a situation in my life, it didn’t happen in reality. It is created by my thoughts because of an ending in my life that I couldn’t let go; and a new beginning I couldn’t face.
Sitting beside the window pane in one of the corners of the testing room, I was in the midst of a feature writing contest (well, literally I was at the side). The view on my left wasn’t that interesting as all I could see were faces which resemble my baffled look. Meanwhile, on my right was a view from the window and there was noise from the construction men working here and there, hammering the walls of the multi-purpose hall. What a view!
No wonder why our faces bore a resemblance to each other as we ponder on how to write something about the topic: From where you are, look for a certain thing that makes you remember something. From their faces, I knew that all the contestants found it hard to stumble on a significant thing that made them reminisce a bit.
Suddenly, I heard a pour of droplets on the roof atop of me. Why settle for those objects inside? When you can glance at your surroundings around you? As the mist pattered above me, I felt a sense of wonderment and renewal. Mother Nature’s timing was at its best, indeed. Judging from the faces of these people around me, I beg to differ.
Pitter-patter, pitter-patter. I remembered when all of us played happily. Completely oblivious of what could happen, my cousins and I cheerfully ran around like excited house pets who just got out of their cage. My seven-year old self danced in the rain having a smile as wide as the place. My cousins and I actually ignored what our parents would say when we enjoyed ourselves out in the pouring rain.
Pitter-patter, pitter-patter. We’re only young once, we barely have get-together’s; therefore, it’s okay to enjoy and be mischievous sometimes. Am I right or I am right?
Pitter-patter, pitter-patter. Well, this play thing ended up when our grandmother saw us and became completely mad at us. But when nothing bad happened, we just totally forgot the negative thoughts and remembered how happy we were having the time of our lives like nothing wrong will ever happen, like it’s okay to hope even once that life is perfect, like it’s okay to expect all dreams do come true.
Pitter-patter, pitter-patter. It’s never going to happen again. I sighed and shrugged nonchalantly but I know I’m missing those times still. I knew that the worst thing about growing up is completely realizing that life isn’t perfect at all, not that close. Life isn’t like fairy tales. When you grow up, you try to hope and wish that things would be like when you were young bust it just can’t happen.
Pitter-patter, pitter-patter. Like I have said numerous times, you know you’re only young once. If you’re young, it’s okay to believe in Santa Claus, wishing wells, and everything will be okay. But being older is just about having realizations that life has miseries and there are no meant-to-be’s.
Pitter-patter, pitter-patter. I hear the contest proctor say that time is up. I stood slowly from my seat and gave my paper silently just thinking about those times that I wish could go back. That for only one time, I wish I could forget the reality and only leave the good thoughts. But every time I look at the dark sky where water droplets pour, until it reached the ground, it all comes back to me. It may be hard to admit but forever, it will just be pitter-patter of memories.