21 November 2012
Note: Yes, the date was not a typo. This short declamation piece was something I composed when I was 13 years old. I feel like I just need to share this because this is (by far) one of the rare positive articles I’ve made. Neither was I optimistic that time, nor was I happy about myself. However, I knew that only self-acceptance will give me peace of mind. So here it is…
I… (pause, walks like lost)
I… (looks to the audience)
Oh forget it! (stomps) I would not be good enough anyway!
I will always be the fat one! I will never be the most popular girl in school! I will never reach my parents’ expectations! I will never get along with my best friend perfectly! I will never… uh! Blah, blah, blah. Yeah, whatever. (sigh a deep breath)
But you know what? (acts surprised)
You know what I just realized? (emphasis; stress out ‘realized’)
This maybe too fast, okay?
But I just realized that I’m wrong! Yes, I am wrong!
In fact, I must consider those things as the things in life that don’t really matter. Yes, they don’t really matter.
So what if I may look chubby in these clothes I wear? So what if I may seem stouter for my age? No one must care! I must not have starved myself to death just because of that 3-letter word others call me. At least I know I am healthy and this is my appearance, I must flaunt it!
So what if I will never be the most popular girl in school? We all have our own specialties. And I am sure mine is not having charisma, allurement, and the charms. But hey, there are a lot of things out there. There are academics, arts, sports, and many more. It’s not just about beauty. It’s about your capabilities, too, you know.
So what if I will never reach my parents’ expectations? Oops, I know I can. I know that just by the simple things I do, I make them proud. I may not be this perfect daughter often seen on TVs and Films, but people; I just want to remind you that this is real life. For every good deed you do, even the smallest ways, as long as it is good, you make your parents proud. You may not always hear it from them, but believe me, they are proud of you.
So what if my best friend and I don’t get along oftentimes? It doesn’’t matter, actually, because that’s the beauty part of friendship. Having misunderstandings because of those little things which make you look like a couple of first graders quarreling for a piece of candy bar, it might be quite annoying at first, but in the end, it will always be the two of you who will reach out to each other. No matter what happens. Don’t let your differences be a barrier for a healthy friendship; let it be a bridge to help understand each other better.
Before, I was trying my best.
For my family, who I thought was expecting me to act perfect all the time.
For my teachers, who I thought was expecting me to do everything perfect and think school works are easy.
For my friends, who I thought expect me to just get along and goof around when I’m with them.
And for everyone in this society, who I thought was always going to judge every move I make. This society, who I thought was expecting me to do things I’m not capable of doing.
I’m very, very sorry about this! I was wrong about what I thought you expect from me. I was always stressing myself doing anything to please everyone but me. I was trying my best for the people around me.
But now, I’m glad to tell you that after all these realizations I’ve made, I have been an optimist. And now, I’m asking all of you to be one too. Forget those insecurities. Remove the negative thoughts. Throw away the pessimist in you. We may always think that we are light as a feather and weak as a twig but we could only be strong as much as we think we are. Who says you can’t do it, when you, yourself are your biggest critic. Stop impressing others because the real challenge in this big world is to know who and what you are; accepting deep inside, here, that you are perfectly imperfect. After all, the real challenge is not fitting in this society, it is self-acceptance.
(featured image courtesy of factfindersteph.com)